For the record, my real name is Colleen Glatzel. Colleen June Glatzel is the name on my birth certificate. It’s on the cover of my novel– Hey, Joey Journal. When I was roughly ten, my grandpa on my dad’s side said if I wanted to be a famous actress, I needed a different name. I chose Gladys Glatzel. Gladys was the name of my mom’s white-haired grandma. She was glamorous. I ditched that a long time ago. In high school, I tried calling myself Gladiator Glatzel, but my track and throwing coach said I needed to earn that name. When my book came out, I chose to use my real name. Colleen June Glazel. Colleen means Irish girl in Gaelic. June is my paternal grandma’s name. Glatzel, according to my grandpa, means baldheaded in German. All the men on his side are balding. I have a lot of hair.
At some point, I tried to change the spelling of my last name to sound prettier and to fix my numerology chart. I was Colleen Glotzell. That didn’t feel right. A voice in my head kept saying no to changing my name to that. I thought at the time it was my higher self. No. Just schizophrenia. At one point, I started a blog and was going by Bean Forshort. Everybody in my younger years called me Bean. There was already a famous artist named Bean, so I added Forshort to be clever. Didn’t stick. I grew uncomfortable with the name Colleen June Glatzel. From new people, I always got, “What did you say?”
It sounds like a sneeze.
Zelda Bean came to me first at a mental hospital called Rogers. People seemed to like the name when I asked which was better– Zelda or my full name. Years passed, and I found out I was leaving my Whitewater group home for a Waukesha home. My roommate and my worker begged me to try Zelda Bean. I already explained the Bean part. Zelda came to me because of the first flapper– Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of the man who wrote The Great Gatsby. The roommate believed I was her reincarnation. I have been told I look like her.
Me:
Her:
https://www.vogue.com/article/zelda-fitzgerald-birthday
She was schizophrenic. Most importantly, she was an author and an amazing artist. The first flapper.
Her art:
My great-grandma Edna was a flapper. I wore a flapper dress or two in my day. She died in a fire at a hospital. I have had a lifelong obsession with fire. I was born during Fire Prevention Week, which is a whole story for another time. I grew up to be a short-lived volunteer firefighter through AmeriCorps NCCC. This is before knowing anything about her, but I always saw a book about her on my bookshelf at home. My sister and mom loved it. I want to find it and read it. I tried to paint her once, and it came out abstract, kind of Kandinsky.
I destroyed it during a schizophrenic episode.
Do I believe I’m the reincarnation of Zelda? At one point. Now? I think God models us after many people. I also believe we are all starseeds. When we incarnate, it’s on other planets. It’s just too complicated to believe I’m a woman who existed only a hundred years ago.
The name has changed everything. I am myself now. Opportunities are flowing to me. It’s not the Law of Attraction. It’s the Law of Numerology. Essentially, I needed an eight in my chart. Just one eight. I felt cursed, like I couldn’t make any money. That changed immediately after changing it. I have heard that you shouldn’t change your name just for numerology. It has to be organic, which it was. Maybe I would have made sales under my old name, but I’ve noticed I’m more organized and business savvy. I think all artists should change their names. Why not?!? It’s fun. I think that SAMO is a much cooler name than Basquiat.
Essentially, it’s all in the name. Your name is your path. Remember that.
Instagram: zelda_bean_art