30 in by 40 in. Acrylic paint and paint pens.
I had my first mental breakdown late spring of my junior year. I was the class clown, which is what made something as serious as a mental breakdown so alarming. I often wore my signature banana suit before this event. To make people laugh. I think I just wanted to be noticed. I was in and out of the mental hospital for the following summer. On my last day of my last visit to Aurora Psyche, I walked out of the mental hospital wearing this. I took many of my senior photos dressed in this suit, holding a phone. The school therapist advised me not to go back to school and do online school. I went back anyway and had the best senior year one could possibly have.
This picture essentially sums up my whole novel, Hey, Joey Journal. The class clown having a mental breakdown.
I did the squeegee part of this at Donna Lexa Arts Center, an art studio for the disabled. I posted a reel on Instagram of the work in progress and somebody online hated on it. Well! It ended up in a gallery show at the Carnelian Gallery. I sold it the first night. Ha!
On a different subject, it’s time to tell the story of the smears on my portraits’ faces. I was getting close to the deadline for this show, and I was in a phase where I would combine squeegee with florals. I had already painted the figure and I was about to cover it up with flowers. As I sat down, I launched into a schizophrenic attack- which can only be described as a panic attack times ten with extra voices and visual hallucinations. I panicked and took a squeegee to her face. I loved how it looked, especially with the paint pens. My sister, a week or so earlier, was going to bring my art to the exhibition manager at Arts for All WI for other events. Thank God her car broke down and she couldn’t pick them up. I was able to finish the paintings of my voices as they appeared at my show.
What did I learn? Two things. First, I’m destined to draw portraits. It will always be my first love art wise. Second, good things come from mental illness.
Thanks for going on this journey with me. Learning the stories behind my gallery show. Want more art by me? Check out the Arts for All WI website under Zelda Bean. Look at the art by my friends as well. Here’s a link:
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